Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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