Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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