haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
