From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize