how can u be prego again
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
