Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
