i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
