A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You don't make any sense
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