Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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