Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
