So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize