Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
