He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
