My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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