U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
