So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
