that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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