3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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