She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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