im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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