i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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