Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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