im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
where does the pee come out of this thing
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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