I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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