My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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