I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
