PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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