I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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