I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
