covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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