We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
