Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How does one acquire holy water?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
