An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
