he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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