toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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