Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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