Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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