We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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