Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
