let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
