its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
