i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
