My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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