i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
