It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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