you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
