Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize