i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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