You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize