I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i think my cat just said my name.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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