I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
