It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Alive.
So much puke
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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