Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
