At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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