He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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