If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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