I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
