So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
