How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
