those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
